On Turning 29

On Turning 29
Just my age.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Why? Why? Why?

The following blog entry is just questions that I have. Some might seem weird or obvious, but these are the questions that I think about.

Why can't they make gum that has flavor that lasts forever?

Why can't the post office deliver on Sunday?

Why am I the only one on time?

Why do women ignore texts?

When there is 24 hours to the each and everyday, why is their not enough time to return a call?

Why does the left sock always go missing?

Why does Taco Bell look better then it tastes?

Why is Jack in the Box or Carls' Jr, never a satisfying choice?

Why does Thai food everywhere taste the same?

Why does love hurt?

Why is it, when you fall in love with someone who is not good looking, once you get to know them they become sexier and sexier?

Why do good things happen to bad people?

Why do I get texts out of the blue from certain ladies and I get no response from them when i return the text?

Why are women's panties(especially the cotton kind) so fucking sexy?

Why do women always smell nice?

Why is it that a girl could walk around all day in humid and hot and still smell nice and fresh?

Why is ice cream so delicious?

Why is Sushi so expensive when no cooking is really involved?

Why is fish so yummy?

Why is it when I am in a rush, no buses come, but when I want to take my time to get somewhere buses come like a bat out of hell?

Why do pretty girls go out with douche bags?

Why am I making this list?

Monday, August 15, 2011

Heidi Ho: A Sad Case of the Porn Star Blues

For the past few years I have been getting into watching Japanese "pink films", which are basically soft core porn with stories that are rather extreme. An example of this is a movie that I really like called "Attack Swim Team Vs. The Undead". It is about an all girls swim team having to defend their school against zombies that have taken over it. The effects are shitty, the acting is real bad. If you can tell bad acting in a different language then you know the actresses are doing a shit job. The main girl has no expression and her "best friend and of course lover" sounds like she is reading from a book.

My point is not about critiquing these kinds of movies. I love them for their cheesy acting, bad stories, great tits and the fact that Japanese girls running around is nice too. Recently i purchased a cheap and used one of these pink films and when I went to watch it, there was a huge crack in the back of the disc. I went back to return it and as I was looking through the pink films I found a hardcore XXX rated Asian porno DVD that was even cheaper then the pink film.

I bought it and I saw an actress there named Heidi Ho. She is a Korean American pornstar. This caught my interest since a lot of the Asian porn actresses are Chinese, Viet, Thai or half breeds. With the exception of Lucy Lee who has a Korean face like no tomorrow. I am not here to praise her skills in her craft, but rather the fact that she is the most uninterested porn actress I have ever seen perform. This got me totally interested in her.

I had seen her on the web. She has done mostly group sex. Some where a group of whites, the others were a group of blacks and the one on the DVD that i got had her with three white guys. Maybe she wasn't feeling it that day, but it was like fucking pulling teeth with her. It wasn't even hot, and that's the part that i don't get. I know that porn actors are all about fucking women and going all crazy but couldn't they tell they were fucking an uninterested shell of a girl? I mean why even film the scene? There wasn't an Asian fluffer around to take her spot to make the scene more sexy and more consensual?

I looked up Heidi Ho and I found out that she quit the business because of "moral issues" whatever the fuck that means. Another rumor has it that she had an anal prolapse when she was doing an anal scene with Mr. Marcus, who is a piece of shit actor. I like interracial porn, but Mr. Marcus and Deep Threat are people that like to talk and they fucking ruin the moment. If I am watching porn, straight porn should not allow the guys to talk, fucking ruins everything.

Anyways my point is that this uninterested, bored looking, not even that pretty of a porn actresses caught my attention because it caused me to ask questions about porn. Is it all about the almighty dollar? Aside from the actors, how much does it really cost to shoot a scene.

My dad has a one of those flip HD cameras and I have seen him film the various crap he likes to film and I swear that the quality of that $129.99 online is just as good if not better then any of the porn I have seen online. I am asking about the financial aspect because the scene is rather disturbing. It seems to almost either be rape or just the simple fact that the actress is not enjoying it or selling the scene.

Now, as you know I am into Asian things. Primarily Chinese and Korean, although I am starting to get into Japanese pop culture. I like to date Chinese girls and if god fucking willing I would love to date and marry a Korean girl and create little half Latin and Korean babies and have them for the rest of their lives tell people "GODDAMNIT, I AM NOT PHILIPINO!". One of you out there could be saying "Oh you're just hating because they're white guys screwing a Korean chick". Granted it does bug me when I see a white guys with asian girls, but in terms of porno, i know those ladies are the type that are easy and do whatever. I am down to see Asian girls do all kinds of nasty shit in porn, but those girls are ENJOYING IT. Even the ones like Black guys and Japanese girls, though they may sound like they are in pain, if you look at their body language and their eyes, those sluts love it.

If you watch the scene I am talking about then you will think differently. I have seen rough and raunchy porn, and even though that can be tough to stomach, the girl still seems to be into it and is not really fighting it. However in this one it seems that she is fighting the entire time and that is not cool.

Heidi Ho herself is not an innocent and I will tell you why. First off she got into porn. Whether she was horny, hard up for cash, or just wanted to be wild, she should have known what she was getting into. Pornographers are not decent people. I don't care who you personally know out there. I don't care if your dad, or uncle or friend of the family, people who work in the porn business are not good people, especially on the male side. A lot of directors are freaks who failed out of film school, so they are bitter and horny and fucking disgusting. I have known one person who was in the business and that person is and was a piece of shit.

Secondly, if Heidi Ho was into sex and fucking and she liked that shit, why did she decide of all things to do all the crazy group sex stuff. I think it's a combination of the fact that even though she thought she was good in bed, she probably wasn't. I also think she was drugged. She looks stoned in the video that i watched and she was barely audible when they were speaking to her. At first I thought that was an Asian girl thing. In my past I knew a girl who was an ABC and supposedly she was smart, but she did this thing that ALOT OF ABC(American Born Chinese) do where they fake a Chinese accent and slur their words and they speak it real low. Why the fuck do they do that? It must be an Asian thing. I have seen my ex's older brother do that shit and he is fucking 35 years old. People you were born in the states not in fucking Kowloon. Then Latins do the same thing, except they put on a fake Mexican accent, "We like to run aroun,eh".

Heidi Ho did this and if I was a director, i would have called cut, and said "Okay thanks, here's your $200, bring in the fluffer and let's see if she has more life in her then burnt toast".

She had to have been drugged. Even drugged you could tell she was not into it. They had to give her commands like three or four times and when she finally did what they told her it was half assed.

Finally, if she has reservations about being treated right, why not just do a one on one porn. I have seen so many porn actresses just do a blowjob scene and that's that. I think it was greed. They probably told her she could make triple of 4 times as much if she did the gangbang scene. I have seen some of the veteran actresses turn to jelly in gang bang scenes, but a new fish like her should have known better.

It is possible that the moral issue she had, was that someone in her family found her porn on the internet. It could have been a brother or a father or an uncle and that is why she stopped, but it could also be the other reason. Maybe she was injured by one of those guys. I mean she is not tiny, I place her at 5'5" at least, but she is narrow and slender. She is also Korean though and Korean girls tend to have bigger hips then Chinese and Japanese girls. Though Japanese girls are a little bit more chubby.

I feel bad for Heidi Ho. I am not sorry for the fact that she got into porn, but for the fact that while she was filming her scene, no one gave a shit enough about her to stop filming and cut her loose. If I was in charge of that shoot, then i would have fired her right on the spot. In retrospect I bet that she would have been grateful, but I was not there and I was not in charge.

It makes me think that porn is not art. I don't care what the supposed filmmakers say, it is so not art. It's all gonzo style now, with close ups and just fucking, which is awesome. I love that style, but don't try to wrap it up and label it as art. That is horseshit. In the 1970s, that might have been art. In the 70s, they used real fucking film and actually had to actually think about shots. Nowadays it's all on HD video that can be erased.

Check her out:

Heidi Ho at Freeones

Tell me if you think she is stoned, or enjoying it.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Thoughts: Tarts and Schedules

I am one of those people that is schedule ridden. What I mean by this is the simple fact that I need a schedule to be happy. I am not one of those people that likes to be spontaneous and go with the flow. Fuck that noise! I really hate it when I am hanging with someone and I have to go with the flow. It's makes me feel anxious and nervous. I don't get why that is.

Maybe I am not spontaneous because I don't have a car and I don't drive which limits my freedom of doing things on the fly, but I have thought about this. Does having a car really stop me from doing things. I think it would have an opposite effect on my personality. I mean if I have a car and I have the freedom to leave for places 20 minutes earlier rather then an hour or two would make me more lazy. I would look at the clock and see that the movie or whatever begins in 20 minutes, and then I would be like fuck it, I am not going.

I have gotten arguments and even got dumped because I didn't have a car. Has this motivated me to get one, not really. I do not do well when it comes to threats and besides why should I do all that extra work and waste all that extra money for some shitty subpar, lame duck tart that thinks she is younger then she is and if she is reading this, well she knows who she is.

Anyhow, the only good thing about that tart was that she was into the whole keeping a schedule routine and not being all going with the flow. My girl after that was a little bit about going with the flow but she was militant about other things and I really enjoyed that.

I have stated that my ex, was mean, but mean girls are something of a special thing. What i dig about them is when they are mean they can be ugly and bitchy and all around crazy but when they are sweet they put in that crazy and angry energy in their loving and seductive ways. I could also mention the same energy they put into when they are in the mood to be all nasty, but that is for another day.

I can understand why a lot of women want the bad boy or the asshole. The asshole or in my case the bitch is bother infuriating and awesome. Something about their excessive ways makes life interesting.

Wow I started talking about schedules and now I am talking about bad girls and tarts, but whatever. It's a thoughts entry and it doesn't have to follow a particular subject. Tomorrow I may have a story if it pops up. Not too sure these days. My eyes be feeling a bit heavy and I am feeling a bit off.