On Turning 29

On Turning 29
Just my age.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Perspective Vs. Reality

Reality and perspective are two different things. What I mean is, the reality of a person can be and usually is quite different from what a person sees. The sad and ironic thing is when one first falls in love the other person usually shows you who they are, we just choose to ignore it. Now, before the peanut gallery and the Greek chorus decide to chime in their opinion, and say “well what about all those wife beaters, and physically and abusive men and women(yes women are just as cruel as men, watch an episode of COPS), and how they can ‘trick’ a person into loving them” well I say bullshit. When you fall in love with a person, regardless of smooth and sweet they are, there are little hints of the true person brewing underneath the surface.

I am not trying to rag on victims or people who really have suffered from someone cruel, but there are signs there from the get go. It also applies to people who fall for con artist or gold diggers. Men who like women who only want money, know what they are getting into. The sad part is that women who go out with men who abuse them, tend to seek them out. It sucks, and it’s sad, but it does happen.

I don’t want to go quite that dark yet, that whole abusive topic is for another darker day. But I do want to share my thoughts about how people tend to edit out all the unsavory and funkiness of a person  when they first meet, fall in love and then break up.

To me falling in love is awesome, it is like taking a drug that makes you feel wonderful, and full of bliss. It makes one feel alive, and makes them feel like they are floating on air. Love is a narcotic, that is more addictive then heroin and more dangerous then nicotine. It’s during this time that people are at their most blind. When you fall on love, you edit out all the bullshit that is pretty obvious from a person who is not involved. People tend to edit out whether a person is controlling, or jealous, or petty, or a gold digger, just about everything that is negative tends to be overlooked.

Reality sets in as soon as the “real” break up occurs. I mean when the relationship is truly over. You don’t see reality during any “cool” down periods, or any “let’s take a break” period. I recently felt the repercussions of going from a “let’s take a break” to completely broken up and too me all it does is prolong whatever anger or bad feelings there is. I think the best way to end things is like amputation. Just cut it off completely. You will experience width drawl and that does suck, but at least it is better then those bad feelings staying inside of you. 

The only way to see the true “reality” of a person is to be completely cut off from them and from a painful event. When you go through a painful event and you are able to allow yourself time to heal and rethink things its during this time that we see who we really loved and dated. It can come as a shock sometimes. I was in a 4 year relationship and for the first 3 years it seemed to go in a flash but in the last 8 months it just seemed to drag on, but after the break up and not seeing her for a long while I realized she was a controlling, manipulative, selfish, dependant, gross person. 

Wow this has gotten a bit long winded, kind of like the 4 year relationship, which ended a little more then 1.5  years ago. I have had another girlfriend since then but she is another article for another day.

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