Ladies and germs it is your friendly narrator again and once again i must beg you for your forgiveness for the lateness of my last entries. I have been having really bad writers block and most of the entries that I had tried writing had been turning into shit. The subject matter on some of the failed entries were really juvenile and stupid, or racist or just plain bad.
During that time, I had been sort of seeing a floozy of a gal, that wasn't really serious, I tried to force or coerce it into something that was real and in the end I had just really was lying to myself. It was one of those situations where it is so obvious to any outside party, that I must have really looked really foolish. I can accept that. I sort of knew from the get go that this person was not right for me and that it was all an illusion.
I admit I let myself be blinded to her real intentions for a little over a month but that song get's really long after a short while. and I figured in the long run it was better to decapitate that shitty so called relationship before it really got out of hand.
I am glad I did, it was a tiny bit tough but like leaving a long distance relationship, after the second day it is surprisingly easy. I suppose this is so, because I didn't see her everyday. It would have been different if our paths crossed a lot, but they didn't. Even though we are in the same city, I have never once, just ran into her. I have ran into former enemies, my ex, and other undesirables that are in my life. I also didn't really care too much about her. Cold, that may sound, I knew she didn't give a shit about me as well.
I am telling you all this because I feel it was the main thing that was holding back my writings. I was really focused on everything but writing and I do not understand why? I was sort of happy, when I seeing her, but I think deep down the real me knew it was all just a load of bullshit, that thankfully ran it's course.
This past week has really been a bit of a changer for me. A friend from my past has come back with a vengeance and this person makes me feel happy and alive inside. When i am happy I feel like writing and so i feel that this is the push that I needed to get back to my opinions, and thoughts that I must express with the world.
I suppose it is because it is from my past and past was really a cool one. These days since I am getting older and I feel the pressure of life moving towards me, I suppose that's it. But I don't think so. I just think that change is in the air and the fact that my friend is back is part of that change. I feel like I have been brought back from the dead and there is no direction but up.
I think i am out of this funk and will keep on writing again. I will make it past the hardest hump, which is blogging for seven days straight, once past that. It is a piece of cake.
****BTW I know that Sundays were supposed to be for, like, hangover stories and bits from the past. I sort of told a story, but I feel that since this is my intro back into writing that the story ought to be used for next Sunday.
I am happy but I am not going mellow on you. I have topics in my mind that are dark, mean or controversial.