On Turning 29

On Turning 29
Just my age.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Sexism and Tight Clothes: Why Guys Stare

One topic that I have been wanting to discuss with you is something that a lot of guys do. I want to talk about staring. What I mean is when guys are walking down the street and they see a cute girl and they want to check them out. Sometimes, a person gets checked out regardless of what their wearing. I remember when I was in love with this girl, that was my friend, I told her when we hung out that she didn’t have to do anything special about dressing up. She would often wear just some junky looking sweats and a plain shirt and that would be it. To the average person she would look like a messy student, but even when she would wear this and she would walk by me I would stare. I couldn’t help it.

This topic is not going to talk about checking people out, but more of why we do it. I mean when it came to my friend, I liked the shape of her hips and the shape of her ass. In terms of asses she didn’t have much of it, but she was “hippy”. A lot of Korean girls I have known over the years don’t have a “ka pow” butt, like a lot of Blacks, Latinas and whites do. What Korean women have are hippy and wide, but not white girl pancake wide. It’s a whole other class.

Anyways, I am digressing. My point is that I liked her and I wanted to look at her body. What I want to address why do we stare and check out women. Sometimes, we see a really hot girl and we want to see what she has in terms of her backside, but my question is this:

Do we look cause we are programmed to look or do women wear clothes to get us to look?

It seems like a rather easy question. Most of you are thinking “Yeah, of course girls wear skimpy and tight clothes for guys and other ladies to check out”. Okay that may be so, so if a girl wears hot looking clothes to get a guy’s attention, then why does she get offended when a guy looks and leers and the girls body? It doesn’t make sense to me. You could be saying, maybe she wants you to check her out and be subtle about it, kind of like the game of love.(We all know how I feel about the game of love, but that was a past article.) Okay so the cute and sexy girl wearing the leggings so tight you can see her camel toe or the lady with her tits hanging out, want us to check her out in a demure fashion.

This does not make sense to me either. It doesn’t because I think women know that when they wear a shirt with their breast hanging out, then most guys will stare. I think this is done in a purposeful fashion. What I think is fucked up is when a guy acts on those inclinations to look at the pair of breasts hanging out of a shirt and he gets called on it, he is thought to be a weirdo.

Maybe this comes to how sexiest our society still is, no matter how progressive we think we are. In life I have noticed that women who are pretty or sexy are never unemployed. I have been to the unemployment department on a number of occasions and I have never seen a beautiful down there. I take that back, a beautiful woman that everyone would agree with is beautiful. My idea of beauty vastly differs from yours. I can make that general statement because I guarantee that if I showed you my idea of a beautiful women you would disagree. Remember sometimes ugly is beautiful, look at Angie Harmon or Noomi Rapce(The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo). Like I said, I have been there a few times and you never see the model type down there. Every time I went for a so called “real” job interview, I never saw an ugly assistant. As a society we are still stuck in the 40s when it comes to how sexiest we are. It’s just we have had 60 or so years to learn to hide it better.

I don’t think we are programmed to stare at women or check them out impulsively. I have been to other countries and I have seen a lot of beautiful ladies, and I think the act of checking them out, the way we think of it is strictly an American thing. I am not saying guys in China or Korea don’t check out women, but I think they do it differently. I have seen Korean guys check out Korean girls, but they don’t do none of the mannerism or say any of the things us American fellas do when we check out our women. I think they do in a much more subtle way. I am not saying the Korean way of treating women is better then ours. Believe there is some shit there that goes down to this day, that would probably shock you. Korean people have their sexiest problems as well.

Some women like to be check out by guys. I once told you all that I hooked up with a Korean girl, when I was in Seoul of 2005. When I first saw her outside my guest smoking a cigarette, I looked at her in the eyes as she took her drag from her cigarette and checked out her body. I thought nothing of it and went to my room to shower and change for the evening. A little later I saw her in the guest house kitchen with the rest of the others and smiled and looked at her. It took another 20 minutes before I approached her. You know what happened next. She was mean, bossy, sexy and I loved being around her. You know the rest of the story from an earlier. One of the clearest memories I have of her is one late evening, I think around 3am, we were actually talking while we smoked and she told me, she knew we would hook up from the way I looked at her. I asked why was that. She said I looked confident in what I wanted. I didn’t think much of it at first, but that might have one of the best compliments I have ever got. I looked confident when checking her out.

That day I had went to the zoo and it was muggy and rainy and so I felt sweaty and wet and I was dying to change my shirt and shower. I think I had a determined look on my face and she must have mistaken that for me wanting. I mean I did check her out, but I thought nothing would have came out of that.

I guess my point for me telling you this, is that when guys check out women when they are wearing their sexy and skimpy clothing they want to be checked out with someone with an air of confidence. They don’t want to be whistled at or checked out like a dog in heat. Guys are lucky with that fact that women are not really visual creatures. What I mean is that they don’t find just the physical sexy. They use feelings, and other factors to determine their potential mate. Attitude, confidence and others are what get women to notice you at first. All that physical stuff comes after.

I am by no means an expert. I am probably the most nervous person you might meet. But I have had my fair share of ladies. I am not a player that fucks everything in sight, but I get enough and that is good enough for me. I do stare a ladies, especially at Asian girls, but I try and control it. Maybe the art of staring is far deeper then we imagined.

* I was online a few days on AOL IM and I was chatting with this girl who sent me the picture I posted. To me it seems like a fake, why would someone with rockin' tits like that need to be online to find a boyfriend?

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