The Beat of Your Own Drum

I have often wondered why people have trusted me in the past. Most of you know I tend to surround myself with people who are either foreigners or people that seem to belong the fringes of society. My brother is a good example of this. To me, being on the fringe of the social norm is the best possible compliment one can get from me. It is harder to be your own person then it is to run with the herd. I have seen the movie The Hangover and they spoke about being part of a wolf pack. I say that's horseshit. Those folks who don't want cause waves and have crews of friends and do things like in the film are just glorified mini herds within the herd. It takes a lot of courage to walk and talk to the beat of your own drum. It takes balls and that is respectable.

In my life, I have often tried and kept pace with my own beat. Granted there were times when i conformed and tried to do the whole, let's follow the crowd thing. I sort of like having a crew or a key group of friends, but the draw back is that there individuals within the group that may or may not always agree with you. I guess that is okay, because it could cause a bit of variety to life, but at the same time it causes a lot of headache.

When I was my social peak in 2005 and I was overseas, I had to divide my time between 2 groups of friends. That was cool to a point. I mean I had my classic friends that i met from the states and then I had the newer friends I had made in my guesthouse. My newer friends were funner then my classic friends. I am not saying that my classic friends were boring, but the newer friends were brand new and so everything we did was a new experience. With my classic friends I knew how they all acted and within that group there were two groups.

Within the classic group there was a guy who is my so called best friend, but he didn't like another guy within the group so he never would hang out. That was cool with me, but it's the little bullshit like that made my newer friends seem more interesting. At the same time, the guy who my best friend didn't like was dating a girl, that I liked. I had gotten over it, when I first went to Korea, but seeing them hold hands and shit, that had always bothered me. I had always felt bad for feeling jealous, because I was also crushing for another girl from a completely different group, but it still bugged me when I saw those two snuggle or do the couple things. Also in that group was another girl who hooked up with a guy that no one and I mean no one understood why they got together. I remember when she first announced it, it sent shockwaves. They are married now and she has 2 children I believe. I haven't spoken to her in years, but she is well off. Go her!

That was a complicated paragraph and I wish i could say names, but you know how that is. My newer social group was fun for the fact that I didn't really see their darksides and to this day I have not. I have seen the darkside to everyone in my classic crew so i guess that makes them more human in my memory, rather then angelic for my newer crew. I had fun with both groups, but i guess my point is that often times when you do stuff with a group of people the night or the day doesn't go to plan. I am a creature of habit, I mean I do go on streaks of being spontaneous, but for the most part, I like to predict how shit will happen, rather then playing it by ear.

Playing it by ear is not really a smart thing to do. I think because when you play it by ear one ends up having a shitty time. It's like this:

Pretend you and your friends are going to go eat. You want to make reservations to a nice place. You insist on this because you know it is a Friday and Fridays are busy days. Your friends are like no, it's not a big deal. So then the Friday comes along and then you try and go eat and everywhere is crowded, so then you drive around all night looking for a place to eat. You end up being hungry and having a shitty time.

I want to get back to the point of the first two paragraphs. I like being a loner, and I am a loner by choice. If I really wanted to i could find a group. I choose not too because I don't like being in groups. If I go out i like doing my own thing, and not compromising. It may seem selfish but it's the honest truth. When I go out to be social, I like to leave when i want to leave and not when it's convenient to the group.

When i have a girlfriend, of course I make exceptions. If you are my girlfriend, i will go out and do whatever you like. Well within reason of course. Not really a sporty fellow, so I guess it rules that shit out. I don't date sporty girls anyway. I date women, who shop as their sports. I date women who dig money. I don't know why, but all the girls I been serious with love the money I share and the money I give. Maybe that's why i have had some pretty ones. Just kidding.

My best friend from the classic group is not really my best friend. We say we are, but i can tell his loyalty is to someone else. I know this, because i can tell from his body language and the fact that, that fool doesn't always return my text messages. My best friend is my brother. There is no doubt about that. He is loyal.