On Turning 29

On Turning 29
Just my age.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

I Love the Illusion of Happiness

I suppose since today is Thursday, that I am supposed to write a topic about something in which I love. I have been racking my brain and for the moment, I am not sure what to write about. I was thinking about writing about movies and DVDs, but I did that already, and then I got to thinking that maybe happiness is an illusion and it is something that changes with wind. It really is.

There are things in this world that always make me happy. Women, movies, DVDs, the sense of smell and whatever else, but they don’t constantly make me happy. Sometimes I get tired of women or watching movies and so to me at that particular moment I am not happy with any of those things. I think this is what is so cool and amazing about happiness. Happiness like the wind changes with every passing moment.

I think women, or if you’re a woman and then men, are the biggest examples of how happiness can change on a whim. Women are both the sweetness of life and the bane of my existence. They drive me wild with pleasure and insane with their crazy bullshit. I mean I know us guys can be pretty nutty too, but man when it comes to reading a woman’s emotions. I mean it is a wonder that any guys get laid, especially the not so good looking guys. If I were to write down all the little fuck ups I have made over the years, I would have a great “How to” guide on what not to say too women. It would be a best seller.

I have noticed in the last few years there has been a lot of books and other media about how to get and keep happiness. I don’t think those books are very good. I have not read them or anything, so I am not going to rag on how poorly they are written, but I will rag that the message about trying to grab and attain happiness is a dumb idea. I say this because happiness is like a rare bird or the wind. It is cool to have it for a while and even a long while but I don’t think it is cool to always have it. What makes happiness so sweet and delicious is the fact that happiness can disappear on a whim or come flying back at you. That’s what makes happiness so fucking awesome.

The only downside of happiness is the fact that people get addicted to happiness and so when happiness finally does up and leave it can leave a massive manic void. I have felt this many, many times. A good example of this is when I would go out on Fridays and hangout with that girl I was sort of dating and we would hang out for the evening. It would be nice cause we would hang out and kiss and have a good time, but then it would end. The next day when I wake up I would feel this funky emptiness in my chest and feel all sad and depressed. It was the manic fall from great happiness. I felt that way when I left China and Seoul and just about every time I was about leave anyone or anything that made me feel alive.

I guess happiness is just like everything else. It’s wonderful too have, and it’s wonderful to feel, but too much of it can hurt you. Also, one must find balance during the times, when happiness is not really around.

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